Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
birth control should be required to get into college
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
