Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
