Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
