kristin has been a bad kristin
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
