So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
