brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
