More tranny stories later!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
