Walk of Shame. In a state park.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
