Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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