can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
