Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
