you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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