yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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