you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
