Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
found the other keg... it's in the tree
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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