and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
