apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
