I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
