How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
