I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
