You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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