she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize