im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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