I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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