lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
