well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
