so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize