I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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