Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
