No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
