i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
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judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
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Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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