Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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