is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
