So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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