i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
