if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
