isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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