I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
