Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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