I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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