well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How external is "for external use only"?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize