I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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