If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
