some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
