i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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