i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
How's work?
Spinning.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
