I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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