Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
birth control should be required to get into college
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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