There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize