I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
