It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
