Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
